Almost Interesting


I drink an alarming amount of Diet Doctor Pepper and read non-fiction books. That’s pretty much what I am about lately, other than trying to resist the urge to post stories about my cats.

One thing you can’t say is I am spending too much money buying books. That’s because everything I read comes from the public library which is insanely cool. You go to a web site, put in what book you want, and they’ll ship it to your local library; often within a couple days. Just don’t drop coffee on the book because the library is a real bitch to deal with when that happens.

It drives my husband crazy that I read so much, but there are advantages to it. My cognitive abilities are likely staying at the level they were when I worked full-time. At least one study has confirmed that activities like reading lower the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease by as much as 47%. Considering I have type 2 Diabetes, I need every edge I can get.

Regardless, the fact is I read, and there’s probably no end to it since it’s something I’ve done since childhood. I fondly remember going to the library with my dad during my teenage years. He’d check out Word War II books and I’d read about unexplained mysteries and aliens. #roswell1947.   I also checked out Cosmopolitan Magazine and learned a whole lot about sex, but that’s another story.

My book of choice now is biographies, which there is an endless supply of. The one I read most recently was “David Spade is Almost Famous”. I was always a Spade fan, but it went to the next level in 2013 when we encountered David at the Scottsdale, AZ Target. My daughter excitedly ran over to me saying, “The guy from Grownups is over there!” Considering this is the same girl who claimed she saw Snoop Dog driving a car within 1 hour of arriving in Los Angeles, I was suspicious. But, due to her insistence I followed her and sure enough there was David. He was talking on his cell phone with his unmistakable voice, with his face shielded by a lowered baseball cap. I wanted more than anything to say, “SELFIE time!” but I just couldn’t do it. Not because I was shy, but because it seemed wrong to interrupt his attempt at being a normal guy shopping at Target. So, I just stared at him for a moment before quietly walking away, wondering if this was my one chance to call the TMZ tip line.

Since my husband didn’t contact TMZ when he saw Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake at the Hotel Bel Air, when they were supposedly not together, I couldn’t justify calling in Spade. I was just too cool to be that person. As luck would have it, when we were ready to check out David was too, and we walked out to the parking lot together albeit in different aisles. My 10 year old son was beside himself with awe and kept pointing at David, who was power walking to his car at increasing speed. The best part, it was an older model Honda! Since David’s mom lives nearby and it was the day after Easter, we assumed he was simply borrowing mom’s car during a holiday visit. And there my friends, is my brush with greatness.

David’s book was an easy read, which I appreciated after a series of books that required re-reading of passages and googling the definition of obscure “fancy” words.  I was surprised to learn that David was a gifted student, studying 2 grades ahead in certain subjects. Like many successful comics, David struggled to get a sketch on Saturday Night Live and felt he was on the verge of being fired every season. Eventually though, David enjoyed success, starting with the “Hollywood Minute”. I enjoyed reading the story behind this skit and other’s such as Down by the River with Chris Farley, Gap Girls with Adam Sandler and Bastard Airlines, “Bye-Bye”. David also went into detail regarding the filming of Tommy Boy and Black Sheep. I never appreciated Chris Farley’s talent until reading David’s book, nor did I appreciate David’s.  I spent a lot of time on Youtube as I read through the book, wanting to see every detail described. It’s amazing how quickly you can be brought to another time in your life through this exercise. I was young and thin for just a few more minutes, thanks David Spade!

Although David detailed his early childhood he didn’t get much into his adult life other than his relationship with Farley. I am sure that will come with time. David’s dad was absent most of his life and did not support his family. His mom was married to a man for several years that acted as a father figure and stabilized their finances, but this too was not meant to last. David however, had a strong and loving relationship with his mother and 2 older brothers. Still, due to their economic situation, David said he had a lot of Joe Dirt “like experiences”.  David’s mother also loved giving the boys photo gifts. One what a t-shirt given to David with his own photo in the top right hand corner of his shirt. Let’s just say the kids had a fun time with that.

I could go on for hours here, but I won’t. Get the book. You’ll like it.


In honor of Chris Farley and Tommy Boy, I will leave you with a quote:

“What my associate is trying to say is that, uh, our new brake pads are really cool. You’re not even going to believe it. Like, um, let’s say you’re driving along the road with your family. And you’re driving along la li la. And then, all of the sudden there’s a truck tire in the middle of the road. And you hit the brakes. Err! Whoa, that was close. Now let’s see what happens when you’re driving with the ‘other guy’s’ brake pads. You’re driving along. You’re driving along and all of the sudden the kids are yelling from the backseat, ‘I got to go to the bathroom, daddy!’, ‘Not now, damn it!’, truck tire, eeeee, ‘I can’t stop!’. Help! There’s a cliff! Aah! And your family’s screaming ‘Oh my god, we’re burning alive!’ ‘No! I can’t feel my legs!’. In comes the meat wagon. And the medic gets out and says, ‘Oh, my god.’. New guy’s in the corner puking his guts out. All because… you want to save a couple of extra pennies. To me, it doesn’t…”

Tommy Boy grossed 32.7 million dollars at the box office.




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